Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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