We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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