I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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