even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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