she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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