i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
