I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
