Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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