What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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