Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
