i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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