I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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