i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
