He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
