upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I deserve this hangover.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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