I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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