We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
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They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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