it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
