Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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