Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
