kristin has been a bad kristin
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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