I'm going to jail i love you
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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