totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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