Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
