last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.