I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.