We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday