Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.