Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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