I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize