I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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