I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize