can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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