So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
