I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
