; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He has the fingertips of a God
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