yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am naked and annoyed.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
