I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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