marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
