Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize