Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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