i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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