I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
