He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I need a burrito and a hug.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize