a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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