I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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