My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
