3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
