I accidentally had phone sex last night
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
