I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
did i just pee glitter
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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