Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I just shit out all my problems.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
