Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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