Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
