Non-Jews are for practice
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
