well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Let's paint friendship bongs
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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