Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
