Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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