First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
