Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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