everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
