$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
