You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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