Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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